Adab or Adat!

Last night, we (me & hubby) reach home quite late. Its 9:15pm. Hubby had to attend meeting with customer and I know he looks exhausted. While we reach home, our house gate ws widely open. Thought Nisa is just playing around and waiting for us. But I was wrong.

Upon step out from the car, my mum shot at us. "Jangan kunci pagar, Mak Teh nak datang". I'm like.. what??..

I'm so pissed off!! Really!! I can't even smile last night. My body was aching.. with rumbles tummy.

I just walk in. Hubby being as cool as he asking me if my mom had informed me about this earlier and of course my answer is "No!". He then tried to looks cool, throw some idea of buying some stuff for the guest. Me losing my coolness just screaming from our unsorted messy kitchen, "Tak payah!! Saper suruh datang time-time camni. Tak reti nak inform awal-awal ke? Siapa bagi izin? Ni tetamu siapa? Pandai-pandai je accept orang datang rumah. Hidang je apa yang ada. Time-time camni pon nak datang rumah orang. Tak pikir ke orang nak rehat"

I think my mom heard that!!

At 9:30PM they still not arrive. And I just can't wait anymore. Every conversation replied with high pitch tone from my throat. End up I walk to upstairs and lock myself in the room. Around 9:45PM they arrive infront of the gate. Mom call at me to "notify" me that the sedara is here. I'm not answering. Not even walks down to just bersalam with them. Until they went home almost 1 hour later. I know its rude.

While lying down, my head keeps on thinking on Adab berkunjung in Islam vs. Adat in malay. Tried to justify, am I do the right things here.

Adat

1. I know, its doesn't portray a good manner of not entertain or accepting visitors some more with sedara-mara.

2. They came from far, and only have a chance to visits you when they are here.

3. Bukan selalu diroang datang.

Adab

1. You should not get into other people house unless is permitted. - In this case - none

2. Visit during suitable hour.- Obviously not

3. As a wife, I have to get permission from hubby before letting people/visitors into our house. - you read as above

Having common malay muslim mother that always priotize sedara mara first "Biar mati anak jgn mati adat" culture and mengamalkan "perkara-perkara biasa" in malays family life, definitely not showing any respect for me as tuan rumah and some more respect to my husband as Ketua Keluarga in the house. I felt so guilty on this. Its no fun having a mother that used and always to give "arahan" to her adik beradik and anak-anak and now do the same thing to her son-in-law. Nasib baik laki aku jenis high-tolerance. But as for me I totally disagree of my mother's action. She just think that because of people yang nak datang is sedara-mara, she simply put a decision that its ok just to let them in without let me or hubby know. Haih!!!

I tried to put the blame on my pregnancy hormones. But I can't. I never inform you that my mother daughter relationship with my mom has never been a good one since I was at secondary school. I won't eloborate more here. As its never show a good example to others.

So semalam was on fire.

I know its not worth for you guys to read this. But I have to blow it out!!!